How to deal with lazy cops

Growing up I often heard stories just like this. Let me preface this by saying that I totally support the local police. That is, those who come to work and put in an honest days work, never abuse their authority and genuinely care about the general welfare of the public. OK, here it is. This was a clipping from an unnamed newspaper:

Round like a shot

Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my shed stealing things. I phoned the police but was told no one was in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible.
I hung up. A minute later I rang again. 'Hello,' I said, 'I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don't have to hurry now because I've shot them.'
Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the officers said: 'I thought you said you'd shot them.' To which I replied, 'I thought you said there was no one available.'

BINGO. More proof that you just have to know the system. I only hope this wasn't in NYC or Los Angeles, otherwise the person would have been beaten, tasered and arrested for the smart remark. Again, I'm sure there are a decent cops in these cities but if there are, you people better do something about those few morons who taser first and ask questions later, steal bikes for ordinances that have already been repealed and arrest those who ask for your badge number. Moderate yourselves because it's obvious your captains could care less how their subordinates do.