Friday, February 10, 2006

The Butch Party

This will be short. I'll post a link to various people's blogs when they make entries about it, but here were my impressions of the evening.

Left for the party a little late, around 7:45 or so and got up there fairly quickly. Got a little scare from the car when just before I reached the College Blvd exit, my front left tire acted like it was wobbling. The car sorta wobbled left and right slightly. Just enough to scare myself silly.

Anyways so I reach Woodstock's and stand out there waiting a bit before I text Butch to see if he's already there. I'm far too shy a guy to just walk into the place, look around, see no one I recognize and then head back out. Something about college crowds intimidates me. I don't know why. Just don't trust them if I don't know 'em...or if no one I know knows 'em anyways.

So less than a minute goes by and I see Butch and Omar. Also get to meet Abby (if I get that wrong please don't get mad) who is with them. I feel a bit dumb carrying this package wrapped in magazine pictures of scantilly clad girls (I swear it was Victoria! I can't even wrap that well!) so I pass it off to Butch, who procedes to carefully and slowly unwrap the gift to preserve the women. He opens the Pulp Fiction and Resevoir Dogs DVDs, gets that giddy look on his face (always better than a thank you) and says his thanks.

Soon after Jo and Erin arrive and we march inside, figuring we now have enough people to at least order something. Butch gets a 14" Pepperoni pizza for the guys and the girls get a BBQ Bird pizza for themselves (well, it was all community). I get an order of Wildebread and someone else ordered cheesy garlic bread.

Anyways, so now we have four drinks, two large pizzas, one small pizza, and a couple orders of breads coming and we quickly find out that Butch has failed to inform Woodstock that we'd have a group of about 8-10 people showing up.

First we found a table but with two chairs we thought that was a poor idea. Just as a group is leaving we dive into a 4-person booth while Omar and I stand on the side. Eventually we each pull the courage to grab a couple of empty chairs from a nearby table but now we're blocking access to the last booth for patrons and employees. It's pure fire hazard.

All our food comes and we're snacking away when I look over and notice 3 skinny girls sitting in an 8-person booth drinking and chatting away. It's very obvious that they got done eating a while ago and I'm thinking "If we can get them to just swap booths, that'd be great." Then I'm thinking, "Yeah and if me - a chubby white boy - comes walking up to them saying anything I'm liable to be laughed right out of the place." So I say nothing, have my pizza and we all just keep looking around and trying to spot people that look like they're getting ready to leave.

The guys in the booth get up to leave and just as I stand out of my chair, a guy walks in and literally sits down ALMOST before the guy getting up has completely gotten out of the seat. SHOOT! Erin says I hesitated, and I did, but how could I have possibly beaten that? Well the guy closest to me had already gotten up and I could have slipped in, looked up at the new guy and just said "Sorry."

Anyways after a while everyone else notices that these skinny broads are hogging a booth and that they're apparently paying an employee so maybe that means they're leaving. So Abby kindly agrees to ask them if they can reserve the table for us as they go so we can move in.

Should have maybe just asked if they'd be willing to switch tables, because when Abby turns around and says "it's cool guys!" everyone gets up out of our booth and immediately someone else takes that booth.

Just then one of the future stepford wives looks up and says "We're not going anywhere anytime soon, just to let you know." Abby says she felt like slapping her. I have to ashamedly admit I thought the same thing. She said it so smugly that it was hard to keep my hands at my side. Well that, and there were two rather large and athletic looking guys sitting at the table right next to that booth.

So there we are holding two pizzas and a bunch of sodas and an order of bread, standing up with nowhere to sit now. So, Jo and Erin box up their pizza and head home while the rest of us head to an empty table outside with two plastic chairs.

We stand around contemplating our state when I look up and say one of the dumbest things I could have said at that moment, "I'm not angry Butch. I'm just disappointed." He was kind enough to snipe back "Shut up, Sonic." Right. Blue spiky hair. Funny. Hey, I was trying to be a little funny but apparently the timing sucked and in comedy, that's all that counts.

About a half hour later we're still standing there when I remember telling Victoria I wouldn't be gone long and I'd try to get home to take care of her. This felt like the perfect time so I said my goodbyes and left. The moment I turned away, I heard a few comments and felt like a total ass. My timing all night sucked and this was the worst of them all.

Sure I was going home to take care of the wife. My reason for leaving was NOT that we were stuck outside. My reason was true. Not only that, but I had work the next morning and the latest I had planned on staying was 10pm. It would have taken at least till then to get anywhere else with the party and by then it REALLY would have been awkward to just cut out. So I thought everything was cool. I guess it wasn't. I feel like nearly as much a putz as I felt like last year for not showing up at all.

Butch, I'm sorry. Hope you enjoy the DVDs. I hope that next year's bash will be just that. A bash. A blast. A blowout. A bonanza. What else starts with B? Anyways, there it is. And here I am feeling the fool. I shoulda hung out man. I shoulda hung out. "What happened?" "uhhhh [big exhaled breath]...10 minutes after you left..."


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