Friday, May 27, 2005

Life is good

OK I don't write as often as maybe I should. Then again I've got a real journal that is on paper and I don't write in that enough either, but maybe together there will be a lot to put together. Need to put this all down on something that will last longer than this site will. You know how the internet is. Pages get underused and deleted all the time.

I've been changing my attitudes a lot lately. Heber Kimball once said "I am perfectly satisfied that my Father and my God is a cheerful, pleasant, lively, and good-natured Being. Why? Because I am cheerful, pleasant, lively and good-natured when I have His Spirit." Right now life is just REALLY good for me.
I can't imagine how I've lived the last 26 years so stressed out, high strung, wound tight. Basically what freed me was I stopped being scared. That's why I haven't been going to church. It's why I keep falling away. I'm scared of the power and happiness that comes with going to church and getting myself worthy of temple work. I guess I'm also a little scared of all the responsibility that comes with that. I've heard that the less one slips up, the stronger one becomes spiritually, the more God will then test and tempt that person. So the better I do, the harder it's going to be because He's not going to give you more than you can handle. With that, He also won't let you sit idle.

As you grow stronger and get a closer relationship to Him, the more he's going to test you because you're strong enough now to handle it. So everytime life is going great I know I have to prepare for the struggles to come because they're gonna be real difficult. That's why we're here. This life on earth is a test on how loyal and true we will be to our Heavenly Father when we're in mortal bodies and outside of His prescence. So the more we come through and stronger our faith, the more we can handle and the harder we'll be tested. If we continue growing and succeeding and we endure to the end...our reward will be greater than we can ever imagine.

So many vices in the world. So many easy pleasures. So many sources of short-term happiness. "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a Hamburger today." That's life in the 21st century. The correct answers come in refusing those, and instead looking for the hard road to happiness. Cause the more risk you take in that sense, the greater the joy will be. I can attest to that. I haven't been going to church or reading my scriptures or praying like I should. I'm gonna need those things if I'm to endure the temptations and stuff to come. I've simply been listening to oral scripture. Talks given by apostles and other leaders of Christ's church. I've been soaking it in, taking it to heart. I've stopped looking at pornography and I've started repenting for the drinks I had a few weeks ago. I don't smoke, don't drink coffee or tea, or lose my temper like I used to. Not even when the Padres gave up 3 leads in one game and lost the game Wednesday night against the Diamondbacks. I barked twice. Once at Glaus for his double and once at Boch for bringing in Reyes instead of Hammond or Hoffman. That was it. So my spirit has been where it needs to be and the joy I feel is much greater than anything I've had at any point in my life that I can remember. Strike that. My wedding day was better. I've had a few moments...but to have a whole couple days where everything is going right and my joy is so great.

Speaking of..the Padres win 10-0 yesterday. The team got a 94 pitch, 2-hit complete game shut out from Peavy. Dave Roberts went 4 for 5 with 4 rbi and a couple of doubles. NICE. Tonight they've started the first inning with 3 runs in the 1st inning against the Giants. VERY NICE.

To beat it all, yesterday a very weird thing happened to me. We had our monthly company meeting and it was really good. At the end of the meeting they announced the Employee Spotlight of the Month. ME! what? me? I just send e-mails and pull reports on the stats those e-mails produce. They bring me up front and read off like 3 pages of stuff that was said about how much I do for the company. I was really shocked. I nearly bawled up there like a little baby. I was shaking and holding back tears. I tried acting cool but I couldn't. All I did was stand there and look around not knowing what to do or say. It's an honor that among 115 GREAT people in this company I was chosen as the one they focused on this month.

You know the more I hear Terry speak and the longer I work for great people like Ann Blair and Lisa Kendall, Carmen Rivera, Philonnia Reed and the rest of the Marketing Team the more I'm glad to be where I am in life. I surely am going to start taking some classes on HTML & Dreamweaver as well as history and anthropology. I want to do some Anthropological work later in my life. Studying old artifacts, people, cultures, etc. Especially in Europe and the Middle East. Saxons, Huns, Brits, Picts, Saracens, Persians, Goths, etc. Anyways I love the company and I'm more and more convinced everyday that Terry LIVES for the members of By Referral Only. Money to him is just a way of providing for them. How can he improve the systems they have. How can he reach more people? Of course we're paid well here as employees with good benefits, and he keeps us really happy, always trying to keep life fun. FUN, INTEGRITY, COMMUNICATION, PASSION, and TEAMWORK. Those five things are the core values of By Referral Only and we see it everyday in our members and employees. We live by these things every day. I'm happy to work here. I won't be there forever because I have dreams that I have to realize but I'm gonna be here until then.

In the meantime I'm gonna start going to church, praying more often, reading my scriptures, and paying my tithing. I'll get that temple recommend in 6 months or so and I'll start doing proxy work for members of my family that haven't had their work done for them. I'll get my endowment, and then Victoria and I will be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity. Can't wait for that. How great it is to know that families can be forever. I don't have to be sad when a loved one passes on because I know I'll see them again one day. Anyways, life is just so good right now. So very, very awesome.


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