Thursday, August 19, 2004

Feeling reflective today

Well today could be the start of a new spirit here or it could just be how I'm feeling right now.

Watching BYU-TV via online streaming. It helps at work for me to keep my mind on good things and I consider the things shown on BYU-TV good things. Here is what I've gotten from it today:

I want to start a real journal. I want to spend a 1/2 hour documenting past events in my life and another 1/2 hour writing about today. I want to spend another 1/2 hour on genealogy. ALong with the 1/2 hour scripture study and 1/2 hour physical exercise in the morning, this will fill my day with goodly things. I want to schedule Family Home Evening one night, a date with my wife another night, and a family activity night a third night. Sundays are church days and that night we could have Family Discussion Time where we talk about what each person learned that week, what happened good and bad and what each person needs. Then combine it all and find what the family needs to focus on in the coming week. We could also discuss then whether our goals for the previous week were met, how they were met, and how we feel about it.

I think it will all bring our family together, genealogy and journals will help set our place in family history and help us realize who we are and of what we are made. Scripture time will strengthen our spirit while physical exercise will strengthen our body. Victoria and I both are in a constant search for new knowledge and that search helps strengthen our minds. These FDTs will help strengthen our emotional state as well as our family as a whole. Wow just used "as" three times in a single sentence. I'm sure that could have been worded better. Oh well.

Today I feel really bad. This morning on my way to work I hit a rabbit. Driving towards it I though it was just a paper bag or some sort of trash that was in the lane so I swerved to avoid it. No other traffic was on the street around me. Just as I got to it, the paper bag became a rabbit which got up and darted in front of the car. When it did this I couldn't have been more than 5 feet from it and going 45 mph I had no time at all to swerve though I really tried to at least keep it under the center of the car and not under a tire. This, I thought, would give it the best chance to live through the experience. Unfortunately in my state of hurry and panic I drove off and didn't even look back so I'm not sure what happened to it. I'm very sad because I feel not only like I killed it, but that I didn't stop or go back to try and help. I thought about it and made a conscious choice against it. That makes me feel even worse now. Victoria says there's not much I can do now so to just pray for forgiveness (which I've done) and for the rabbit's health (which I've done) and that's all I can do. It still hurts though. I hurt one of God's creatures. Human or animal it still hurts me.

Anyways...all that is on my mind today. Take care everyone and pray for the rabbit.


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