Wednesday, September 05, 2007

NFL Predictions 2007

This year I know less than I usually do and every year all the experts look retarded by seasons end so with that in mind, here is how I see the standings playing out this year:

AFC West: Chargers, Broncos, Chiefs, Raiders
AFC South: Colts, Jaguars, Titans, Texans
AFC North: Ravens, Bengals, Steelers, Browns
AFC East: Jets, Bills, Patriots, Dolphins

OK that was easy. The NFC won't be so easy:

NFC West: Seahawks, Rams, 49ers, Cardinals
NFC South: Saints, Panthers, Buccaneers, Falcons
NFC North: Bears, Packers, Lions, Vikings
NFC East: Cowboys, Giants, Eagles, Redskins

AFC Wild Card: Ravens over Broncos, Bengals over Jets
AFC Divisional Round: Chargers over Bengals, Colts over Ravens
AFC Conference Finals: Chargers over Colts

NFC Wild Card: Seahawks over Panthers, Rams over Cowboys
NFC Divisional Round: Saints over Rams, Bears over Seahawks
NFC Conference Finals: Saints over Bears

Super Bowl: Chargers 31, Saints 14

OH and there's actually a bet going on. Butch said to me that the Cardinals not only will make the playoffs but they'll win a playoff game as well. HEHEHEHA AHA HA HA HA. As long as the Bidwells own the Cardinals, the only time they'll see playoffs is in eating contests or modeling shoots (depending on which position they play). Appalachian State would have their way with the Cardinals nine times out of ten.

So, if the Cardinals make the playoffs but fail to win a playoff game, it's a push. We both win there.
If the Cardinals miss the playoffs, Butch owes me $20
If the Cardinals do make the playoffs and actually win a game, then I owe Butch $20.

Easiest bet I ever took. Dude could have also put money on the Lions, Vikings and Bucs. Oh well, it's too late for that.

Labor Day Weekend

WOW what a weekend! Hmmm where do I even start?

Saturday morning at 4am I get woken up by Victoria wrestling with the bed and begging me to turn the lights on. She said she thought she was being attacked by bed bugs, so I rolled over turned on the light, looked at the bed and there's nothing there. Then I look up at her...and covering her back and the entire left side of her body are hives. So she runs into the bathroom for a wet washcloth and some Benadryl. 50mg of Benadryl and a few minutes later she was back asleep for a bit.

We were supposed to go together to my aunt's house for our annual summer BBQ/birthday celebration/Family reunion. It's one of the few times I get to see Anna and Marie or most of Andrea's friends. So, Victoria stays home this year and I go it alone. She told me not to worry too much, that she'd be OK and to have a good time. That's impossible. This is my wife. More than that this is my wife who I truly love and care about and not just some woman that tricked me and seduced me.

So I get there, I hand out our gifts to Aidan and my aunt, eat some food, talk a bit to Jen and Alex, spend a few moments with Andrea and watch a little Classical Baby. 5:30 comes around and I just can't take it anymore. I love everyone and I always love being there but my baby is at home suffering and I just can't enjoy myself without feeling guilty, no matter what she says so I say goodbye to everyone and head home. I spend the rest of the evening taking care of Victoria, cleaning up the apartment a bit and doing some dishes. Then Sunday comes.

Due to the hives and Victoria being drugged out on Benadryl, we decide that the barbecue we had planned with the in-laws should be postponed until at least Monday. Luckily the in-laws totally agree and so we spend the day just relaxing and trying to keep her cool. Then in the afternoon I get to talking to Butch through Google Talk and I bring up a tour of Little Italy I wanted to do for a photography workshop I'm helping organize. So after talking to Victoria, it's decided that I'll go hang out with Butch for a couple hours and come home. Then I get a call from Rachel.

Apparently there was an incident back at the home in West Virginia. There was a big fight that all got started over the hot water being used in the shower so Gene couldn't take a proper shower after mowing the lawn. It escalated into Rachel being permanently kicked off the 'net, threatening to smash her skull into the monitor, send her back to CA with my mom and a shove. Now before anyone gets upset, things have since calmed down, they all talked and things are good again...for now. Still by the time I left for Butch's place, Rachel was off the 'net and she wanted me to relay that message to Butch.

So I get to Butch's place, and we're about ready to head out when I get another call from Rachel. This is where it had escalated to Gene telling mom not to pay bills so he could fly them back to California. I relayed this to Butch and quickly our tour of Little Italy turned into a couple appetizers and blank stares at each other at the Yardhouse downtown.

We share some jokes, stories, quips and after a call to Victoria for permission, Butch came home with me and the three of us joked for a while until Victoria fell asleep. Then we turned on the live TDO (Team Drunk Ottawa) podcast and the real fun began. Rhian had asked that we call into the show at some point, so when she mentioned Team Drunk SoCal on the show, I called in. I didn't really have a lot to say but it wasn't helped by the fact that I only heard every third word or so. Butch called in later, performed much better than I had and they went on to plug Uncast.

Butch and I then began the longest and most enjoyable night of my life thus far. We drank for nine hours straight (10pm-7am) and only stopped because we ran out of proper booze. In our wake was empty bottles of Jagermeister, Mango Rum, 2 bottles of Vanilla Vodka, Scotch (which was mostly empty to begin with) and Baileys. About 5am Butch decided to start an old school playlist and began pulling YouTube videos of old tunes from like 1989-1993 out of his hat and it was the best playlist ever. By about 9am or so he'd lost his touch and began pulling out some 80s songs that just weren't fitting in, IMO but we kept this going until about 11am when we had to start getting ready for that family barbecue we'd postponed before.

Now, imagine...stretching out a nine hour drinking binge with GREAT tunes, plenty of water to keep the hangover at bay, NO SLEEP, and then add in a marathon of Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" and the scent of cooked bacon filling the room. Add in a dinner of blue cheese burgers, italian sausage, grilled Nathan's hot dogs, bacon and baked beans and that is a man's dream. The only thing missing was a great night of sex and the ONLY reason it was missing (and the wife will affirm this if you ask her) was because she was still drugged off the Benadryl and dealing with the hives.

I finally hit the sack at 10:30pm, woke up about 6am and got through my day at work with no problems at all. That's right, I dealt with drinking for nine hours straight, music blaring and NEVER got even a scent of a hangover. Mix that with 40 hours straight of no sleep and now I believe I'm ready and properly trained for New Years Eve. Bring it on people!